School Days

Well, it’s that time of the year again when all the kids go back to school.  The stores had been stocked with school supplies and back school specials.  As a mom of 2 elementary school boys, we have done all the shopping. 

But with back to school time, comes more kids riding their bikes or walking to school or waiting for the bus to come pick them up.  We are all distracted with our lives and our phones.  We need to remember to be more cautious while driving, to stay off our phone and definitely don’t read or write a text or email.  Not only for the lives of these kids, but also for our own safety.    

Making the Most Out of a Visit

When a loved one moves into a nursing facility or assisted living, we sometimes wonder what the visit would be like.  What should we do?  What do we say?  Do we bring in items from home?  Providing human interaction is very important in helping with adjusting to their new surroundings.

Why is visiting so important?  Families are a great resource of information for staff about a person’s past; likes and dislikes, hobbies, etc.  Also, by visiting a loved one, you are also interacting with the other residents.  This is helpful for those residents who do not receive visitors and for meeting other families who are going through the same situation.  With regular visits from family and friends, it helps keep residents connected to their outside social support network.  It helps the transition into the facility easier. A resident with dementia can often be reassured by the familiar face of a family member or friend, which may assist with his/her orientation to the new environment.

It can be hard to determine when to go visit a loved one at the facility; you don’t want to interfere with their new social life.  Use good judgment on when to visit so it doesn't disrupt treatments or rest.  Adhere to the visiting hours that some facilities have.  A good time to visit is meal time or during an activity.  Most facilities offer a guest tray at a small cost. 

When visiting a loved one, it’s important to remember to make it feel just like you were visiting them at their home.  Find a private area to sit and talk.  You may also ask staff for a cup of coffee or water while you visit.  Be a good listener and hear what they are saying about their living situation.   Silence can be golden.  Don’t fill up the silence because you feel there must be talking at all times.  Sometimes just being with them is all they need. 

Here are some ideas of things to do while visiting:

• Bring the family pet to visit (check with the facility regarding regulations)
• Help your loved one write letters
• Give a backrub or gentle arm & leg massage or a manicure/pedicure
• Help with arm & leg exercises; take a walk up & down the halls or go outside to walk (if able and have permission from staff.)
• Have a meal together.  Either bring in favorite food or get a guest tray.
• Bring in current newspapers, magazines or books to read
• Offer to escort to an event/activity at the facility
• Bring in items that your loved one enjoyed at home
• Bring in pictures
• Celebrate holidays and birthdays
• Share stories or memories of family events
• Put a bird feeder outside his/her window & keep it filled with seed. (Get permission from the facility.)
• Bring in their favorite music & listen to it with them
• Listen/read poetry together
• Play games; bingo, checkers, cards
• Hold hands, hug and/or squeeze arm or shoulder
• Bring joy and laughter
• Say I love you, and I’ll be back again.

The more you visit, the more you will have in common and the easier the visits will become.  Enjoy the time you have together and make the most of it. 

Beat the Heat

I didn't try it but I wonder if you could fry an egg on the sidewalk?  It sure feels like we could. There are two main problems with exposure to this excessive heat; heat stroke and heat exhaustion.  The elderly are more prone to these problems.  According to the CDC, on average, 675 people die from complications related to extreme heat each year in the United States.  That is more than tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, lightning or any other weather event combined.  Almost half are people over 65 years of age.  Many more are hospitalized due to a heat related illness.  
Here are some tips on beating the heat:

1. If you have air condition, please use it.  Don't try to save money by not using it.  The closer the temperature in a house gets to 90 F, the less a fan can cool the body.  Above 90 F, it just stirs up air almost as hot as your body's temperature.
2. Wear loose, light weight, light colored clothes, specifically cotton as it will keep you cooler than many synthetics.
3. Take frequent, lukewarm showers or baths, maybe twice a day, to help cool the body.
4. Eat lightly and drink plenty of fluids. Non-caffeine and non-alcoholic beverages help prevent dehydration.
5. Keep a container of cool water nearby and use wet washcloths to pat the wrists, face and back of neck or, for a quick cool down, wrap ice cubes in a washcloth.
6. Wear a wide-brimmed hat when in the sun.
7. Stay in the coolest part of the house; usually the lowest floor.
8. A shady spot outdoors may be cooler than the house, especially if there is a breeze.
9. Use portable and ceiling fans to substitute for or assist the air conditioner.
10. Open windows on 2 sides of the house to create cross ventilation. 
11. Use white window shades, curtains, or blinds to reflect sunlight and heat away from the house.  
12. Close curtains on south and west-facing windows during the day.
13. Plan outside activities for before noon or in the evening when it is cooler. 
14. Sunburn makes it harder to stay cool.  Use sunscreen when outdoors.
15. Fill a spray bottle with water and keep it in the refrigerator for a quick refreshing spray to your face after being outside. 
16. Keep plastic bottles of water in the freezer; grab one when you're ready to go outside.  As it melts, you'll have ice cold water.
17. Use the microwave oven instead of a conventional oven.
18. Use common sense.  If the heat is intolerable, say inside with a fan and/or air condition.

Some people don't have air conditioning and as stayed above once the house is 90 F, a fan won't help the heat.  Here are some places to go to stay cool:

1. Mall
2. Recreation Center
3. Senior Center
4. Movies
5. Library
6. Friend or Family's house

Biography:

www.seniorcare.com

www.sjaging.org

www.nyp.org

www.medicinenet.com

Stages of Grief

When I was trying to decide what to write today, I thought back on my week.  A friend of mine passed away on Sunday and I'm grieving that loss.  I'm working through my grief.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross states that we go through 5 stages of grief.
1. Denial - We are in a state of shock.  This helps us to survive the loss and to pace our feelings of grief.
2. Anger - Be willing to feel your anger so it will dissipate and you can heal.  With anger is also pain, which is just a way of showing how much we care.
3. Bargaining - This is the "if only..." or "what if..." stage.  Guilt frequently accompanies bargaining.  The "if onlys" cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we could have done differently.
4. Depression - We feel withdrawn and in intense sadness.  This stage is very important and necessary.  Don't fight the feelings.
5. Acceptance - This does not mean that you are "OK" with what happened.  You will never be "OK" with it but you will continue to live.  It's about accepting the reality of the loss and having more good days than bad days.

Some people may repeat some of the stages, may not go this order and may skip a stage.  If this happens it doesn't mean that you are not grieving.  We are all unique and we all grieve in our own way.

Ways to Enjoy a Wonderful 4th of July

Here is a list of some ways to enjoy the 4th of July:

1. Decorate patriotically.  If you like to do your own crafts, there are plenty of websites that will give free patterns or tutorials on how to complete the craft.
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/july4/
http://pinterest.com/kellylhardy/4th-of-july-crafts-decor/

2. Go to a parade.  It's a fun time had by all.  See the floats that creative people have designed and put together, collect candy and enjoy the time with family.  Check local papers for times of community parades.

3.  Cook-out.  Invite family and friends over for a BBQ.  Ask people to bring a side dish to share.  Go to a party store to purchase patriotic plates, napkins, cups, etc.

4. Make a simple patriotic treat.  Rice Crispy Treats with red, white and blue marshmallows (but you will have to make the different colors separately.)  
http://pinterest.com/kelliecsmith/4th-of-july-crafting-ideas-treats/
http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/event-or-occasion/july-4th-recipes
http://www.bhg.com/holidays/july-4th/recipes/july-4th-desserts/

5. Watch fireworks.  Watch as the skies are lit up with the amazing colors of the fireworks.  If you don't want to get in the traffic after the fireworks, ride bicycles to where they are being held or watch the high ones from afar.  Check local newspapers for times of community firework shows.

Peace of Mind by Julie Graf Skinner, Funeral Planning Specialist

The journey of being a caregiver can be exhausting and confusing. Caregivers are often left to make many decisions for themselves and their loved one regarding end of life care. One of the most important factors in addressing end of life issues is creating a plan prior to an event or crisis.

As a funeral director, I often meet with families that are unprepared for the decisions and plans they are faced with. Many of them have never had a meaningful conversation about their funeral wishes. This lack of planning forces survivors to make decisions of necessity rather than decisions of choice. Unfortunately, this is sometimes intensified by survivors that don’t have great working relationships with one another or are emotionally and financially ill prepared to make appropriate decisions. Losing a loved one is a difficult experience for anyone to go through, but the weight of the loss can be lightened knowing we provided them with their final wishes exactly as desired.

There are many benefits to advance funeral planning:

1. Allows for many urgent tasks and decisions to be handled before a time of emotional upheaval

2. Eliminates doubts for survivors about funeral preferences and disputes about expenses

3. Provide peace of mind that wishes are expressed

4. Ensures that funeral expenses have been addressed

5. Allows for necessary legal documents to be gathering and filed with a funeral professional

I encourage you to have a meaningful conversation with a funeral professional to record personal information, funeral preferences and plans related to funeral expenses. Many people are unaware that they can make plans, record their wishes and learn about the many funding options that are available. I believe the hardest part of this process is making the call to talk to a professional. It takes a great deal of energy to avoid something and often people find out it is easier than they imagined. The most common things I hear at the end of a planning session includes: “That was so much easier than I imagined”, “I had no idea that I could make payments on my funeral”, “I feel so much better knowing that that this will be easier for my children”.

Once again, I encourage you to take the next step, make the call to set an appointment… I would be honored to help you.

Julie Graf Skinner

Busch Funeral and Crematory Services

Funeral Planning Specialist

jgskinner@buschfuneral.com

440-333-9774

http://www.buschcares.com

Please let me sleep...

Almost 64 million Americans regularly suffer from insomnia each year. But I'm sure most of us have experienced times when we just can't fall asleep or stay asleep.  Here are a few ways to beat insomnia/sleeplessness.
1. Have a nightly routine to signal your mind that it's time to calm down and prepare you for sleep
2. Use lavender; the scent is scientifically proven to promote relaxation
3. Eat a handful of walnuts before bed because they are a good source of a sleep-enhancing amino acid.
4. Don't like walnuts, eat a banana before bed since it is a great natural source of melatonin, the sleep hormone.
5. If you still can't get to sleep, get up and do something.  Trying to fall asleep can exacerbate the problem.