Making the Most Out of a Visit

When a loved one moves into a nursing facility or assisted living, we sometimes wonder what the visit would be like.  What should we do?  What do we say?  Do we bring in items from home?  Providing human interaction is very important in helping with adjusting to their new surroundings.

Why is visiting so important?  Families are a great resource of information for staff about a person’s past; likes and dislikes, hobbies, etc.  Also, by visiting a loved one, you are also interacting with the other residents.  This is helpful for those residents who do not receive visitors and for meeting other families who are going through the same situation.  With regular visits from family and friends, it helps keep residents connected to their outside social support network.  It helps the transition into the facility easier. A resident with dementia can often be reassured by the familiar face of a family member or friend, which may assist with his/her orientation to the new environment.

It can be hard to determine when to go visit a loved one at the facility; you don’t want to interfere with their new social life.  Use good judgment on when to visit so it doesn't disrupt treatments or rest.  Adhere to the visiting hours that some facilities have.  A good time to visit is meal time or during an activity.  Most facilities offer a guest tray at a small cost. 

When visiting a loved one, it’s important to remember to make it feel just like you were visiting them at their home.  Find a private area to sit and talk.  You may also ask staff for a cup of coffee or water while you visit.  Be a good listener and hear what they are saying about their living situation.   Silence can be golden.  Don’t fill up the silence because you feel there must be talking at all times.  Sometimes just being with them is all they need. 

Here are some ideas of things to do while visiting:

• Bring the family pet to visit (check with the facility regarding regulations)
• Help your loved one write letters
• Give a backrub or gentle arm & leg massage or a manicure/pedicure
• Help with arm & leg exercises; take a walk up & down the halls or go outside to walk (if able and have permission from staff.)
• Have a meal together.  Either bring in favorite food or get a guest tray.
• Bring in current newspapers, magazines or books to read
• Offer to escort to an event/activity at the facility
• Bring in items that your loved one enjoyed at home
• Bring in pictures
• Celebrate holidays and birthdays
• Share stories or memories of family events
• Put a bird feeder outside his/her window & keep it filled with seed. (Get permission from the facility.)
• Bring in their favorite music & listen to it with them
• Listen/read poetry together
• Play games; bingo, checkers, cards
• Hold hands, hug and/or squeeze arm or shoulder
• Bring joy and laughter
• Say I love you, and I’ll be back again.

The more you visit, the more you will have in common and the easier the visits will become.  Enjoy the time you have together and make the most of it.